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Entry tags:
#IStandwithSho
Title : #IStandwithSho
Pairing : Sakurai Sho x TRUE FANS
Length : oneshot
Rating : pg
Disclaimer : fiction
Summary : Whenever it is too dark and you cannot see anything, please feel us embracing you tightly! Be brave Sakurai Sho, we stand with you.
On a couch in a dark living room of a luxurious apartment in the middle of Tokyo, sit its owner, facing his laptop. Newspapers were scattering on the table and floor. Actually it was a normal scene, he always sit there, gathering with his beloved newspapers while watching TV or just chilling with the beer. But the room was never that dark, he ain’t a dark person to begin with, he likes light, or candle (chuckles).
Oh, the person is Sakurai Sho, for your information.
Yes, Arashi’s Sakurai Sho, the rapper of the group, the KEIO boy, the news caster, the red member, the shadow leader, and now, he have new nick names. He is the betrayer, the cheater, the burden! The reason why Arashi should just split ways.
Yes, he knows. He read all the online comments, he did.
And did they affect him? Though he won’t admit, they did! Too much, so much.
A twenty plus years as entertainer taught him a lot of things. How to throw the hottest glance, how to melt the heart of thousand fans, to dance the most perfect moves through muscle pain and cramps, to model in the most ridiculous costume in the most embarrassing poses, he mastered them all. Name what thing he haven’t do for the sake of fame and the well-sale status they hold now, almost nothing, he did them all. And among the things that he has given, the most priceless thing would be his heart. Just how many times did he broke it because the contract wouldn’t allow him to keep it whole? He missed the count.
And now he is going through it again, the countless heart breaking moment. It all started this morning in the dressing room of his group. The other members were already there when he arrived. A normal morning. But he notices the pitiful glances they thrown at him. Having no time for questioning, ~when did Arashi have any time for anything anyway, they are busy making fans happy~ he let it away.
Come afternoon, and the glances haven’t stop. Plus they are talking very carefully toward him, he also caught the other four talking among themselves in a whispering volume.
“How could these people?!”
“Too cruel!”
“Never let Sho knows!”
“How? He will know soon, they are on the net!”
He can’t take it anymore.
“Spill it guys. What is it?”
The four men gaps and immediately try to change the topic.
“What on the net? I already know about the rumour. It almost a week right? I’m okay.” He said, who knows if the last verse is a truth or not.
The four men look at each other, deciding whether to spill it or not. A silence nod from the leader, the youngest pull out his tablet and gave it to him. Indeed, it is related to the rumour but this time it is not from the reporters, but from the fans.
“SAKURAI SHO IS A BETRAYER!”
“DON’T FORGET WHERE YOU BELONG. EVERYTHING YOU HAVE TODAY IS FROM US. NEVER FORGET THAT YOU ARE JUST AN IDOL.”
“WANT WIFE AND CHILD WITH FAME AND WISHED FROM ALL FANS? IMPOSSIBLE. YOU HAVE TO PAY FOR WHAT YOU WANT.”
“YOU HAVE TO DO SOMETHING TO FIX THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN MEMBERS. YOU RUINED ARASHI!”
And many more.
The four men were watching with anxious expression. He gulped a bit and smile to them.
“It is okay. They have the right to say anything they want. I’m not affected.”
And here he is, alone in his apartment, the one he own using what he earn doing everything with all his might, re-reading all the comments, tweets, blog posts, everything he can find online about the him. He tried hard to breath, the painful feeling strikes him hard at the comment about him ruining Arashi. Especially that!
The darkness and silence engulfing the space and himself. Getting scared of the surrounding, he decided to go for a walk. He walks around his neighbourhood, not bothering to wear a disguise. He was easily spotted anyway.
When he enter a bookstore, he immediately spotted a tabloid with his face decorating the front page. Usually people would be glad to make the front page. He always did, but not with this. All the comments suddenly coming back to his memory. He make a sharp turn and leave. As soon as he left the store, his phone vibrated. A message from his manager saying that one more of his work tomorrow got cancelled. He sighed and continue walking without paying attention to the road. He even bump into someone. He just said sorry and continue walking, not realizing he has dropped his phone, his unlocked phone.
A few minutes later, he arrived at a park. Nobody is around, so he take a sit on the bench. Again, he was in darkness. He could hear the sound of cars from the nearby road but they sounded so far away, making him feeling very lonely. The dark feeling is eating him again. The words from the net were playing in his mind.
-A betrayer!-
“I won’t betrayer you, trust me!” he said to nobody. He pull his hands together.
-Arashi will spit because of you!-
“I won’t let Arashi down! I won’t! Arashi is important for me.” He begin to cry. The emotion rush make him recall all the memories with his members. From the moment they debuted until today. How their laughter and smiles were swiped away this morning, replaced by worries. He hated it.
“I will end it! No matter how hurt, I will!” he searches for his phone to make a call, to end it. To again, break her heart. And mostly, his. To his surprise, his phone is not in his pocket. He panicked. In that phone, there are a lot more thing that may ruin Arashi. The thought of him betraying his members because he is being careless once again, makes him breathless. He grasped his chest, it is so painful his tears drop again.
“I ruined Arashi again! Guys, forgive me!” he whispers to the wind, hoping it will reach the other four. His knees gave up, making him fall to the ground. He was sobbing hard.
All these while, he did not realize that he was not alone from the beginning. I was there, I followed him after I picked up his phone earlier. I intended to return it as soon as I catch up with him but when I arrived at the park, he was already in deep though. I heard everything he said to himself and wonder why did I feel the pain he is feeling.
I take a small steps toward the crying Sakurai Sho. My beloved Sakurai Sho from my favourite idol group! I swear with every step I took, I will take the pain away. Or at least share it with him. I want to lend him my strength, like he did to me all these years.
“Sakurai-san?” I said. He was shocked. He blinked away the tears in seconds! He flashes me that idol smile and asks me why. Idols are amazing, I thought. How can they hide their emotion that fast? I cried at the scene! Again, he asks, why?
“I heard everything.” I said. “How broken you are, I know..”
“What do you mean? I am just practising my lines for work.” He lied smoothly, flashing the smile again. It makes me wonder, just how many time have they all lie by saying they were fine to calm us.
“Sakurai-san, don’t lie to me. I know, I saw your google history.” I said while handing him his phone. He stared at me, half relieved, half scared.
“I won’t betray you Sakurai-san. I believe in you, in every decision you’ll make. But please know that above all, I want you to be happy.” I said with difficulties. I felt a heavy feeling to portray.
There was a silence comfort between us. I feel him calming down but he is still being aware. I try to think of something to make him understand me. I want to represent all his TRUE FANS. I want to bring our feeling and thoughts to him.
I took out my acoustic guitar from the bag I was carrying. For an instance, I was glad that I didn’t skip the music class this night. I pick up the pluck and start streaming. He was a bit shocked at the familiar melody. When I start singing, he closes his eyes.
“When your wispy scent grows close, even with my eyes closed, I know it's you
It's not a dream The breath you let escape makes my heart race
Can you hear it? The sound in the air
Once I realize it, I'm falling down I can't stop the memories
A diamond that has matured through the passing time
I want to put one on your finger with a shine like no other
If the two of us could fall to a place deeper than anywhere else
Then even in a darkness where you can't see anything, I'll gently embrace you
I'm not afraid of the end…
Beginnings always start from underground
Make it resound further and further
Your beautiful tears fall, becoming clear crystals
If you try to touch them, a pain close to something nostalgic is reflected
Do you remember? The sounds from back then
Hitting and breaking me down The memories are the same as ever
The skin you shed was like the smooth edge of a blade
I don't care if I get hurt, because I just want to be by your side
If we broke to pieces every time we held each other tightly
Then as long as we become one to the point that everything else disappears, it's fine
No one knows when the end will come…
But there's always a new beginning waiting
Make it resound further
Ah A short moment of pleasure
Burn up and return to ashes
There shouldn't be such a thing as the end
I want...（to see you） And borrow you again
Just following your scent
My feelings are still wandering lost
Ah, enough Wanna know?
Let's escape into the dark （Oh)
And show how powerful even the smallest light can be （Oh）
We don't ever have to be apart again （Oh）
So… Please stay by me （Oh）
Even tainted, you're fine as you are
Let's escape into our dreams （Yeah yeah）
Reality is always to forceful （Yeah yeah）
Rolling, rolling days
Every time you strike my heart, sparks fly
While gazing at each other, we'll go into the light
The overlapping sounds drew a spiral
As we melt together, we'll go to eternity
If the two of us could fall to a place deeper than anywhere else
Then even in a darkness where you can't see anything, I'll gently embrace you
I'm not afraid of the end…
Beginnings always start from underground
Make it resound further and further”
I ended the song when he opens his eyes again. While looking straight into his eyes, I said;
“I, on the behalf all your TRUE FANS, present you this song. We are not afraid of the future that will come with your decision, we believe in you! Whenever it is too dark and you cannot see anything, please feel us embracing you tightly! Be brave Sakurai Sho, we stand with you.”
He smiles, at last, a true smile.
“Thank you.”
*****************************************************************************************************************************************************
In the light of the recent rumour relating our Sakurai Sho, I was thinking to do something for him. What more suitable way to portray my thought than writing a fanfic?
'I' in this fiction is all of us, I am writing this with the thought of all of you in mind. Because I know we are TRUE FANS!
I hope our thoughts will reach him, I hope he will remain strong and brave. We love you Sho-kun, unconditionally.
#IStandwithSho
<3
Pairing : Sakurai Sho x TRUE FANS
Length : oneshot
Rating : pg
Disclaimer : fiction
Summary : Whenever it is too dark and you cannot see anything, please feel us embracing you tightly! Be brave Sakurai Sho, we stand with you.
On a couch in a dark living room of a luxurious apartment in the middle of Tokyo, sit its owner, facing his laptop. Newspapers were scattering on the table and floor. Actually it was a normal scene, he always sit there, gathering with his beloved newspapers while watching TV or just chilling with the beer. But the room was never that dark, he ain’t a dark person to begin with, he likes light, or candle (chuckles).
Oh, the person is Sakurai Sho, for your information.
Yes, Arashi’s Sakurai Sho, the rapper of the group, the KEIO boy, the news caster, the red member, the shadow leader, and now, he have new nick names. He is the betrayer, the cheater, the burden! The reason why Arashi should just split ways.
Yes, he knows. He read all the online comments, he did.
And did they affect him? Though he won’t admit, they did! Too much, so much.
A twenty plus years as entertainer taught him a lot of things. How to throw the hottest glance, how to melt the heart of thousand fans, to dance the most perfect moves through muscle pain and cramps, to model in the most ridiculous costume in the most embarrassing poses, he mastered them all. Name what thing he haven’t do for the sake of fame and the well-sale status they hold now, almost nothing, he did them all. And among the things that he has given, the most priceless thing would be his heart. Just how many times did he broke it because the contract wouldn’t allow him to keep it whole? He missed the count.
And now he is going through it again, the countless heart breaking moment. It all started this morning in the dressing room of his group. The other members were already there when he arrived. A normal morning. But he notices the pitiful glances they thrown at him. Having no time for questioning, ~when did Arashi have any time for anything anyway, they are busy making fans happy~ he let it away.
Come afternoon, and the glances haven’t stop. Plus they are talking very carefully toward him, he also caught the other four talking among themselves in a whispering volume.
“How could these people?!”
“Too cruel!”
“Never let Sho knows!”
“How? He will know soon, they are on the net!”
He can’t take it anymore.
“Spill it guys. What is it?”
The four men gaps and immediately try to change the topic.
“What on the net? I already know about the rumour. It almost a week right? I’m okay.” He said, who knows if the last verse is a truth or not.
The four men look at each other, deciding whether to spill it or not. A silence nod from the leader, the youngest pull out his tablet and gave it to him. Indeed, it is related to the rumour but this time it is not from the reporters, but from the fans.
“SAKURAI SHO IS A BETRAYER!”
“DON’T FORGET WHERE YOU BELONG. EVERYTHING YOU HAVE TODAY IS FROM US. NEVER FORGET THAT YOU ARE JUST AN IDOL.”
“WANT WIFE AND CHILD WITH FAME AND WISHED FROM ALL FANS? IMPOSSIBLE. YOU HAVE TO PAY FOR WHAT YOU WANT.”
“YOU HAVE TO DO SOMETHING TO FIX THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN MEMBERS. YOU RUINED ARASHI!”
And many more.
The four men were watching with anxious expression. He gulped a bit and smile to them.
“It is okay. They have the right to say anything they want. I’m not affected.”
And here he is, alone in his apartment, the one he own using what he earn doing everything with all his might, re-reading all the comments, tweets, blog posts, everything he can find online about the him. He tried hard to breath, the painful feeling strikes him hard at the comment about him ruining Arashi. Especially that!
The darkness and silence engulfing the space and himself. Getting scared of the surrounding, he decided to go for a walk. He walks around his neighbourhood, not bothering to wear a disguise. He was easily spotted anyway.
When he enter a bookstore, he immediately spotted a tabloid with his face decorating the front page. Usually people would be glad to make the front page. He always did, but not with this. All the comments suddenly coming back to his memory. He make a sharp turn and leave. As soon as he left the store, his phone vibrated. A message from his manager saying that one more of his work tomorrow got cancelled. He sighed and continue walking without paying attention to the road. He even bump into someone. He just said sorry and continue walking, not realizing he has dropped his phone, his unlocked phone.
A few minutes later, he arrived at a park. Nobody is around, so he take a sit on the bench. Again, he was in darkness. He could hear the sound of cars from the nearby road but they sounded so far away, making him feeling very lonely. The dark feeling is eating him again. The words from the net were playing in his mind.
-A betrayer!-
“I won’t betrayer you, trust me!” he said to nobody. He pull his hands together.
-Arashi will spit because of you!-
“I won’t let Arashi down! I won’t! Arashi is important for me.” He begin to cry. The emotion rush make him recall all the memories with his members. From the moment they debuted until today. How their laughter and smiles were swiped away this morning, replaced by worries. He hated it.
“I will end it! No matter how hurt, I will!” he searches for his phone to make a call, to end it. To again, break her heart. And mostly, his. To his surprise, his phone is not in his pocket. He panicked. In that phone, there are a lot more thing that may ruin Arashi. The thought of him betraying his members because he is being careless once again, makes him breathless. He grasped his chest, it is so painful his tears drop again.
“I ruined Arashi again! Guys, forgive me!” he whispers to the wind, hoping it will reach the other four. His knees gave up, making him fall to the ground. He was sobbing hard.
All these while, he did not realize that he was not alone from the beginning. I was there, I followed him after I picked up his phone earlier. I intended to return it as soon as I catch up with him but when I arrived at the park, he was already in deep though. I heard everything he said to himself and wonder why did I feel the pain he is feeling.
I take a small steps toward the crying Sakurai Sho. My beloved Sakurai Sho from my favourite idol group! I swear with every step I took, I will take the pain away. Or at least share it with him. I want to lend him my strength, like he did to me all these years.
“Sakurai-san?” I said. He was shocked. He blinked away the tears in seconds! He flashes me that idol smile and asks me why. Idols are amazing, I thought. How can they hide their emotion that fast? I cried at the scene! Again, he asks, why?
“I heard everything.” I said. “How broken you are, I know..”
“What do you mean? I am just practising my lines for work.” He lied smoothly, flashing the smile again. It makes me wonder, just how many time have they all lie by saying they were fine to calm us.
“Sakurai-san, don’t lie to me. I know, I saw your google history.” I said while handing him his phone. He stared at me, half relieved, half scared.
“I won’t betray you Sakurai-san. I believe in you, in every decision you’ll make. But please know that above all, I want you to be happy.” I said with difficulties. I felt a heavy feeling to portray.
There was a silence comfort between us. I feel him calming down but he is still being aware. I try to think of something to make him understand me. I want to represent all his TRUE FANS. I want to bring our feeling and thoughts to him.
I took out my acoustic guitar from the bag I was carrying. For an instance, I was glad that I didn’t skip the music class this night. I pick up the pluck and start streaming. He was a bit shocked at the familiar melody. When I start singing, he closes his eyes.
“When your wispy scent grows close, even with my eyes closed, I know it's you
It's not a dream The breath you let escape makes my heart race
Can you hear it? The sound in the air
Once I realize it, I'm falling down I can't stop the memories
A diamond that has matured through the passing time
I want to put one on your finger with a shine like no other
If the two of us could fall to a place deeper than anywhere else
Then even in a darkness where you can't see anything, I'll gently embrace you
I'm not afraid of the end…
Beginnings always start from underground
Make it resound further and further
Your beautiful tears fall, becoming clear crystals
If you try to touch them, a pain close to something nostalgic is reflected
Do you remember? The sounds from back then
Hitting and breaking me down The memories are the same as ever
The skin you shed was like the smooth edge of a blade
I don't care if I get hurt, because I just want to be by your side
If we broke to pieces every time we held each other tightly
Then as long as we become one to the point that everything else disappears, it's fine
No one knows when the end will come…
But there's always a new beginning waiting
Make it resound further
Ah A short moment of pleasure
Burn up and return to ashes
There shouldn't be such a thing as the end
I want...（to see you） And borrow you again
Just following your scent
My feelings are still wandering lost
Ah, enough Wanna know?
Let's escape into the dark （Oh)
And show how powerful even the smallest light can be （Oh）
We don't ever have to be apart again （Oh）
So… Please stay by me （Oh）
Even tainted, you're fine as you are
Let's escape into our dreams （Yeah yeah）
Reality is always to forceful （Yeah yeah）
Rolling, rolling days
Every time you strike my heart, sparks fly
While gazing at each other, we'll go into the light
The overlapping sounds drew a spiral
As we melt together, we'll go to eternity
If the two of us could fall to a place deeper than anywhere else
Then even in a darkness where you can't see anything, I'll gently embrace you
I'm not afraid of the end…
Beginnings always start from underground
Make it resound further and further”
I ended the song when he opens his eyes again. While looking straight into his eyes, I said;
“I, on the behalf all your TRUE FANS, present you this song. We are not afraid of the future that will come with your decision, we believe in you! Whenever it is too dark and you cannot see anything, please feel us embracing you tightly! Be brave Sakurai Sho, we stand with you.”
He smiles, at last, a true smile.
“Thank you.”
*****************************************************************************************************************************************************
In the light of the recent rumour relating our Sakurai Sho, I was thinking to do something for him. What more suitable way to portray my thought than writing a fanfic?
'I' in this fiction is all of us, I am writing this with the thought of all of you in mind. Because I know we are TRUE FANS!
I hope our thoughts will reach him, I hope he will remain strong and brave. We love you Sho-kun, unconditionally.
#IStandwithSho
<3